The quick transition nowadays from being single to being in a relationship is the new in-thing among teenagers. Every teen on planet
Earth is out on a search to find their ‘soul-mate’. The ‘soul-mate’
might be a total nut-case but who cares! Its ‘love’ after all and that
is all what really matters isn’t it? Traditionally, to fall in love
with someone meant to share every part of oneself with that person be
it joy or sorrow; responsibility or triviality. A loving partner
constituted of absolute patience, genuine concern and immense respect
for the one she/he loved.
But the dynamics of a loving relationship have changed drastically for
the coming generation! Now what everybody wants is cute/hot/sexy
partner who is presentable in front of others. Moreover, the element
of respect for each other in a relationship lacks now! The two people
apparently ‘in love’ with each other can’t even hold their tongues
when it comes to swearing or abusing each other. My view point might
across as ‘old school’ and you may disagree to all of it by saying
plainly:’everything is fair in love and war!’ But give it a thought,
is it fair really? Is it fair, rather I must say, it is justified to
act in that manner just because its a trend that’s popular?
Is being ‘in a relationship’ so important now that one cannot live
without being in one? Moreover, is such a trend fair to those who are
no all that good-looking and therefore cannot find their ‘soul-mate’?
Perhaps they have a gem of a heart and they maybe extremely
good-natured, but no they don’t deserve to fall in love because they
are not ‘hot’!
You would come up to me and lie straight in my face that looks don’t
matter at all, its the attitude which is important. But yes, somewhere
at the back of your head you would certainly have formulated a
judgment on me which is purely based on why I look like. My point here
is that in order to be in a lasting relationship with a person one
needs to go beyond what that person looks like and with certain
wave-length adjusted, form a deeper bond with that person through
getting to know them actually. But all of these are matters of later
concerns. Immediate concerns should be to contemplate whether
teenagers are going on the right path or not!
A major goof-up most of the teenagers commit as they run in a marathon
to be the ‘coolest’ among their peers,is that they indulge into
activities with their partners which have catastrophic consequences
not only on their tender bodies but also on their naïve minds! Girls
are not hesitant to surrender themselves wholly to their ‘boyfriends’
and don’t even mind popping I-pills which literally ‘messes-up’ with
their physiology creating a long-term hormonal imbalance; all of this
under gone merely for pleasure and fun sake!
Even if we overlook the above mentioned aspect(which certainly should
not be ignored), another repercussion of these brash ‘relationships’
is this huge sense of humiliation and defeat brought out to ones
elders. Parents start doubting their style of bringing up their
children and curse themselves all their lives for being ‘bad parents’.
Such impetuous behavior on the part of teenagers as far as matters
like love and sex are concerned give their parents sleepless nights.
The only way out can be absolute openness, independence and freedom
within the parent-child relationship. The child should never have
second thoughts whether to talk about a certain problem to their
parents or not be it about peer pressure, academics, relationships,
sex or any other subject in the world. But such openness shouldn’t be
misinterpreted as undue freedom to go ahead and indulge in any
misadventure by the children. The deepened bond between the parent and
child should instill a sense of responsibility within the child; a
responsibility to respect their parents expectations. Not only the
child, this bond must give the parents too a greater sense of
understanding their children’s desires and curiosities.
Here I feel its apt to quote something that my father once told me ” A
seasonal fruit always tastes bitter when devoured off-season,
therefore one must patiently wait for the fruit to ripe and the
appropriate time to come”
Therefore, I would like to sum up this string of scattered ideas
saying that matters like love sex and relationships need to be dealt
with some amount of gravity and seriousness which is attained after
certain level of experience in life. The fact that people learn from
their own mistakes and mishaps are the best lessons in ones life
cannot be denied completely. But they say, certain things should be
best left heard from others and not experienced personally. Life’s
meaningful concerns like searching for a soul mate and love require a
certain level of maturity which can be attained only after a certain
point in time in life. Teenage is a time when one must enjoy healthy
relationships in life and learns from their elders!
Yes, all of the things I have just written come across as traditional,
stereotypical and old fashioned(seemingly written by a 60 year-old!) but yes that’s certainly, what I believe,the best way to live ones teenage.
Srishti can be defined as a perfect combination of talent and idiocy! Her interests are singing,sleeping, spending time with stray dogs, observing people(all of which aren’t worth mentioning!). Generally frivolous and calm in her attitude, her opinions on subjects like patriarchy, societal norms for women and their status in the male-eccentric world ,may seem fierce. She is doing her B.A.(Honors) in English from Miranda House college. You must not expect any great articles from her but can certainly get to know some of her stray yet genuine ideas and opinions. She will be posting her once a week. Do come back to read more from her!